A toast to alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
An alcoholic is someone you don't like that drinks as much as you do.
I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.
I graduated with a 4.0 ... Blood Alcohol level.
Reality is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
The alcoholic's mind is like a bad neighborhood, don't go there alone.
The Attorney General has determined that Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms can be dangerous to your health, and get away with it!
The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
There's too much blood in my alcohol system.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ?
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
संकलक:प्रवीण कुलकर्णीWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?
You can always tell an alcoholic, but you can't tell him much.
You're ready for sobriety when the alcohol doesn't work anymore
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